Kingdom Families And Goal Setting (Part 2)

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In part one of goal setting, I gave some basic thoughts on the importance of setting goals individually and as a family. There are three primary areas I believe every christian should set goals in; loving God, leading your family (or leading well if you are un-married), and living the gospel. Each year Joy and I set goals that flow out of these three spheres of life. This is a great way for us to stay focused on spiritual disciplines, cultivate a healthy family, and live out the kingdom mission. This has become one of the most beneficial ways Joy and I have grown together in marriage. Joy has said, that for us, it has been the difference between "surviving" and "thriving".

Here are three results of goal setting we have identified:

1. Communication- Joy and I have cultivated some great communication during these times. I am amazed at how much closer we become when we stop long enough to listen and talk to each other about our family and life. 

2. Prioritizing- There are 168 hours in a week. If you sleep 8 hours a day that leaves you 112. What are your priorities? You will either AGONIZE or PRIORITIZE! Joy and I finally realized we simply could not do everything. Prioritizing our values and time changed our lives. 

  • Everything cannot be a priority. You can’t have it all.
  • Everything should not be a priority. All things are not created equal.
  • Some activities and investments are more important than others.
  • Some activities and investments are more lasting than others.

3. Growth- Joy and I will celebrate twelve years of marriage at the end of December. Unlike many marriages, we did not start out well and we certainly were not growing in Christ or our marriage. Over the last five years however, we have seen our greatest growth. It was during this time Joy and I began intentionally setting goals for ourselves and family in the area of loving God, leading our family, and living the gospel. 

Here is a short explanation of each life sphere:

1. Love God- These goals should focus on spiritual disciplines, identifying idols, repentance, fruit, and community.

Mark 12:30 (ESV)
30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’

Spiritual Disciplines are a means of sanctification and our sanctification is the will of God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (ESV) 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification…As Christians we should set goals to read and memorize the Word, examine our lives, and pray earnestly. Without spiritual disciplines we will not grow in Christ-likeness and we will not deepen our love for God. 

Idols in our life are the primary reason we fail to love God. As you identify idols and demonstrate godly repentance, God graciously allows us to see fruit in our lives. How do you know you have truly repented of an idol? You will have a corresponding fruit! 

“If anything becomes more fundamental than God to your happiness, meaning in life, and identity, then it is an idol.” - Tim Keller

“We discover what our idols are by asking what gives our life meaning, worth, and value.” Scott Thomas

Part of loving God and Christ is loving the Church. Jesus is the Bridegroom and the Church is His Bride, Jesus loves His Bride. Part of loving God and growing in our relationship with Christ is loving His Church. Don't forget that corporate body life is a spiritual discipline, along with reading the Bible, praying, fasting, and scripture memorization. 

2. Lead Your Family- These goals should focus on your marriage, your role as a parent, managing finances, relationships in your immediate family, discipling your children, and your physical health. 

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 (ESV)
6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Marriages are under attack and one of the most missional things we can do as christians is to model a Christ-honoring, covenant keeping marriage. Christ Centered marriages are endangered species in our culture. We can never discount the impact and witness this has to a lost world. Because marriage is so important and is a primary picture of God's love to the world, we must maintain our marriages at all cost. May it be your goal to have a marriage that thriving and not just surviving. 

Father's (head of household) are called to shepherd their family. This means you have to know, lead, feed, and protect your family. Every home should have goals for family worship and intentional discipleship that focuses on biblical manhood and womanhood. The Bible say's that children are like arrows; may we shape, sharpen, and send them for the glory of God!

3. Live The Gospel- These goals should focus on disciple making, personal evangelism and missional living. 

Matthew 28:19–20 (ESV)
19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Mark 12:31 (ESV)
31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Mark Dever says, "If you tell me your a follower of Jesus and your not helping other people follow Jesus, I just don't know what you mean." If you are Christian you are called to make disciples, this is not optional. I cannot count how many christian men over 35 I have encountered that say one of two things: 1. I have never been discipled, 2. I have never discipled another person. What a tragedy! It should be the goal of every christian to be intentionally discipling others to follow after Christ. 

Personal evangelism is an intentional explanation of the Gospel and genuine appeal to repent and believe. Pray earnestly for God to cultivate a brokenness for lostness in your life and challenge yourself to be intentional about sharing the Gospel. Some of the greatest growth I have experienced in the area of personal evangelism has been when I am around someone who has a heart for the lost and is intentional about sharing the Gospel. Your faithfulness in this will impact others and advance the Kingdom of God. 

Missional living is where we embody the character of Christ and the mission of Christ through the Spirit of Christ, for the glory of Christ. We see the world through the eyes of Christ. Setting missional living goals will mean getting involved with the least of these. The broken, hurting, poor, abused, used, orphaned, and oppressed are not only around the world, they are across the street. Missional living is an intentional way to be the hands and feet of Jesus for the glory of God. 

Click here for an example of my Gospel Centered Life Plan from 2013 and some detailed notes on goal setting.